We received so many meals, cards, gift cards, and flowers in the first few weeks after our daughter died. The flowers made the house smell amazing, but they took up half of our dining room table. The cards I eventually put into a photo album so I could re-read the condolensces and sweet notes people had written to us. The meals and gift cards allowed us to not have to cook or buy groceries for two solid months.

Our family and church friends provided amazing support to us during those dark times. People were constantly asking us how they could help. Which, at the time, we had no idea what we needed that could possibly help. More alcohol? Some Xanax? Just kidding. But seriously, sometimes a change of pace was needed. Anything to help me feel supported and loved, whether it was at home doing housework or out running errands.

So, besides the usual Southern hospitality fanfare of bringing a meal, sending a card, or ordering flowers, consider the following ideas:

1. Schedule a coffee or lunch date -

even if it's just for a little bit, community matters

2. Attend or help with the funeral/memorial service -

it means a great deal to the parents if you show up to the service

3. Start a food train -

www.mealtrain.com is a great option. You can send gift cards instead of cooking a meal which can be super convenient.

4. A couple's massage or photoshoot -

this is a great idea if the parents' anniversary is coming up, but it can be a very intimate time for the parents to savor some moments together.

5. Schedule a yard cleanup crew -

rake the leaves or mow the lawn

6. Run some errands, fold laundry, clean house -

check to see if the mom wants to run some errands with you as support. But you can always run them for the family.

7. Babysit -

If the family already has kids you can offer to babysit for a night.

8. Send them a gift -

the sky's the limit in terms of gifts, but try to make it unique and special like one of our Hope Boxes or Gem Boxes in the Care Package section of our shop.

9. Quality time (puzzle/game/movie night) -

have the parents over for a night to hang out and maybe laugh a little.

10. Donate to a cause that is dear to them -

we asked for donations to the children's hospital be made in our daughter's honor in lieu of flowers.

Other ideas:

"How Do You Help A Grieving Friend When You Live Far Away? 10 Tips to Help You Provide Long-Distance Grief Support" 

A great post by The Recovery Village on reminders about helping a grieving friend:

The Dos

• Check in on them
• Understand the grieving process - let them cry
• Ask questions, when appropriate
• Be willing to sit in silence - listen more, talk less
• Remember important dates

The Don'ts

• Don't be afriad to talk about the deceased person
• Don't diminish their grief or try to fix them
• Don't draw comparisons to your experience unless appropriate
• Don't comment on their appearance
• Don't push your faith on them
• Avoid platitudes

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